The deleted post, (I accidentally deleted it, just now), was titled Infinity and that's what it was about. I think about infinity often, mostly because I associate it in some way with God, which is also something I think about sometimes. I don't consider that abnormal. It would though, I think, be abnormal to discuss my deleted post, because it is so gone. So not there. It's kind of a mini-trauma, and I've had dozens of mini-traumas having to do with my PC over the years to the point where I wonder if we all shouldn't have just stayed with the typewriter. That of course is a pointless thought; much more pointless as far as I can see, than thinking about infinity.
So. Dealing with this mini-trauma. I feel like I just can't go on with my life as it has been in the context of this Blog, going from one obsession to another, without putting some sort of period to the latest aforementioned Life Crisis.
I'm going to change the subject to Consciousness, and if I somehow unconsciously, Freudianly, self-destructively, delete the blog on Consciousness, titled, 'Making Peace with the Establisment', then I may engage in self-harm. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Consciousness is in me. it's my perspective. It's also, reportedly, in you and everybody, and to some extent in other sentient beings, and depending on your perspective, also in rocks. It is also, according to some of the highest ranking Physicist-Cosmologist thinkers, such as Wheeler*, Everywhere. It is what turns the wave into a photon.
Would that include the Primal Wave and Photon coming together? That I think would be a whole other subject except to say that it would include all waves and all photons from as far as the light years can be thought of as having extended, in all the directions of the global compass.
This of course we all understand is coming from someone who flunked elementary Algebra two times in High School, and was, finally, given all the answers by the teacher, who, I suppose I could say, was playing God.
Consciousness is then, a part, that is to say at the very least a part; of the structure of the Universe. But more importantly, for me at least, it is also, or at least appears to be; inside my own head; my ego; my superego*, myself, my (pause) Self, my attitude, my perspective, in some contexts even, my voice, feelings, and if I am an artist, my work.
*Just the other day I finished reading Edmund Bergler's book Super-ego. A fascinating book. I think reading him has clarified the whole situation of the self-destructive neurosis more than anything else I've ever read, which is very satisfying to me, even if at this late date it's probably too late for me to become a less neurotic person and I'll just have to love myself as I am, which would be completely impossible if I didn't have my immediate family, God bless them.
*The Establishment being Blogger, or Google or both. I'm trying to transcend my anger. Below was posted under the title ......FUCK, ....which I changed to Making Peace Etc. I said,
"This is a rant. I just spent an hour writing a post and accidentally deleted it! Now I've spent another hour trying to retrieve it. Is there any way I can express how sadistic I think the people at Blogger are for letting us be so screwed for making a mistake that any normal human could and I'm sure would make, does make, any time any day? May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose! And, bless your little hearts."
"This is a rant. I just spent an hour writing a post and accidentally deleted it! Now I've spent another hour trying to retrieve it. Is there any way I can express how sadistic I think the people at Blogger are for letting us be so screwed for making a mistake that any normal human could and I'm sure would make, does make, any time any day? May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose! And, bless your little hearts."
*for Wheeler, see Wikipedia.
